


the last goodbye

by orphan_account



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Pre-Canon, Angst and Tragedy, Blackcest (Harry Potter), Cousin Incest, F/M, POV Sirius Black, Young Narcissa Black Malfoy, Young Sirius Black
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-06
Updated: 2020-07-06
Packaged: 2021-03-05 04:07:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,334
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25108204
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Sirius Black can't help himself, he needs to see Narcissa Black once more before her marriage so he sneaks into her engagement. He doesn't intend to speak to her but she sees him before he has a chance to leave, leading to a final moment between them.
Relationships: Sirius Black/Narcissa Black Malfoy
Comments: 8
Kudos: 12





	the last goodbye

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Houseofmalfoy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Houseofmalfoy/gifts).



_ Damn that picture perfect smile, those flashy red lips and the sparkle upon her finger.  _

Sirius Black took a drawl upon his cigarette, a cheap Muggle thing that tasted like ash and left his mouth drier than a desert but sent exhilaration whirring through his veins. He knew he shouldn’t be here, shouldn’t be watching his Cissa at her engagement party to Lucius Malfoy and yet here he stood. 

She looked beautiful tonight, blonde hair set in curls with emerald pins and a smile outstretched on her lips. He moved closer, carefully holding the cloak he had borrowed from James to conceal himself. He couldn’t help the way his eyes followed his Cissa as she mingled with all the important guests in the room, the way he had the perfect view of her creamy back and pert arse. He had always been a glutton for punishment. He stubbed out his cigarette between his fingers, feeling the quick pricks of the heat deepening into a burn. He should go. He had seen her now and that should be enough. It wasn’t. He wanted to go up to her, to publicly say her name in the voice that she liked and to claim her as his own. He turned around. 

“I rather think it’s the height of rude behaviour to leave without saying hello to the one you’ve come to see,” Cissa said in that prim little voice of hers as she approached, appearing to take a stroll in the fresh air of the night. 

“How could you tell?” He was still hiding under the cloak. Her scent, that crisp lavender and soft cinnamon, wafted before him. 

“Darling, the amount of times I’ve seen you and that Potter disappear under his cloak is well into its thousands,” She said as she walked further into the grounds of Malfoy Manor. 

Sirius followed her, he wouldn’t pass up the opportunity to speak to her again. It might well be the last time and it would be better to do it in a secluded spot. “We’ve never been good at being subtle.”

“Of that, I am aware,” She tugged off his cloak and looked him in the eye. 

“Cissa,” He said as he became aware of her eyes, blue as sapphires, which were narrowed upon his face and those plump lips which were turned up into a smile. “I just wanted to see you one last time.”

He hadn’t yet made his peace with losing her. He thought that seeing her would help to heal the hurt within him, would help him to move on but he had been wrong. Gazing at her now under the cover of darkness with nothing but stars to guide his way just reminded him of how much he was going to lose. Seeing her sent delight dancing down his spine along with pangs of pain dotting their way across his body because this would be their final time together. 

“I know,” Her voice was throaty with a touch of wistfulness for a time long past. 

“So you’re marrying dear Lucius then?” He tried to keep his tone light and conversational, ignoring the pangs of desire worming their way through his body. “Mrs Narcissa Malfoy, it’s definitely maintaining that pureblood prestige.” 

“I’ll be happy with him,” Her smile was glued to her face though Sirius noticed the strain in her eyes; it wasn’t the radiant beam he loved. “He treats me well.” 

“Well, that’s the most important thing that he treats you well,” The words slipped out of his mouth and his tone was acrid. 

_ I love you, I treat you better than he ever could and I’ll never let you cry again  _ were words that remained unspoken. 

“Sirius,” She took his hand, so much larger than her own yet almost a mirror. His hand was shaped like hers, had the same rounded nails and the same elegant fingers that had once given her so much pleasure. 

“Cissa,” His tone was solemn for once, his grey eyes pleading as he faced her. “I can still take you away from here, the Order will protect you.” 

_ And, you could still be Cissa Black. My Cissa. _

“And, what of our family?” Cissa said. Her voice was softer than normal with none of the bite to which he had grown accustomed. “We have already had two blood traitors, I’m certain a third will destroy grandfather.”

A silence crept between them. They had arrived at the very same issue that they had failed to resolve time and time again and the one that had led to the demise of their relationship. Sirius lived only for himself. He could not bear the constraints upon his views and his freedom, not even for the one he loved above all others. Narcissa lived for her family. She would mask her own feelings because nothing was worth breaking a family, not even the love she still treasured. Love was not nearly enough to reconcile their opposing views. She moved closer to him, laying her head on the cold leather of his jacket and thinking of the moments they had spent in bliss. 

“And, if you marry Lucius then how can I live?” His tone was flippant though his eyes held traces of anguish within their dark depths. 

“You will live, my darling,” She pressed a kiss to his cheek, soft like silk without even the slightest trace of stubble. “You have always been strong enough to make your own way.” 

A trickle of wetness was left behind on his cheek, he raised his eyes and saw the tears clouding her eyes. “Cissa,” He pulled her into his arms, feeling the curves of her body pressed against him as several more tears fell, each one staining her face like footprints on just fallen snow. “You have steel in your soul, love, so don’t ruin your beauty crying over someone as damned as me.”

“Sirius,” She said. Her tone held exasperation mingled with laughter as she untangled herself from him, the tears no longer escaping her eyes. “You’re not damned.”

_ I wish I was, Cissa. If I was, I would steal you away without caring about anything or anyone.  _

“I should go,” Sirius’s eyes held reluctance but he knew he had taken enough of her time. “Lucius will be wondering.”

Standing up, he was surprised as Cissa flung herself forward to kiss him on the lips. He could taste the salt, the creamy sweetness of her lipstick and the tang of champagne upon her tongue mingled with the taste that was identifiable only as Cissa. He kissed her back, his arms instinctively wrapping around her delicate waist, feeling her tender, plump lips against his own. And, then he pulled away even though every part of him wanted to stay like this for the rest of their lives. 

“Goodbye, Cissa,” He turned away, not wanting to look into her eyes and be tempted to stay. 

“Goodbye, Sirius,” She said, her voice fainter the further away he walked. 

Once he reached a suitable distance, he looked back just for a moment to see her compose herself. He watched as she applied her lipstick, wiped away the tear marks trailing on her cheeks and tidied the curls that had come loose from her emerald pins. She did not look back as he walked, her slender legs walking with an elegance despite the moment they had just shared. He was glad. Her happiness was more than simply important, it was essential that she moved on even if he never would. He threw on the cloak again with a flourish, missing the moment she looked back, and Apparated away from the biting cold air to the warmth of his fireplace. 

It was there he allowed himself to feel the emotions battering away at his soul; the anger burning hot as hell in his veins, the regret worming its way through his heart and the aching pain within his body. 

_ Cissa Black was gone, Narcissa Malfoy would take her place.  _

  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!


End file.
